I don't really know where to start regarding the last few days. I had what felt like a horrible emotional breakdown coming off the buprenorphine, I felt like my life was over, like I was afraid to be alone, like I was never gonna feel happy again and had nothing to live for, despite knowing it isn't true. So when bf went off on his solo camping trip, my best friend's mum invited me to stay over at their house, which I did for two days/three nights and it was lovely. I love them both so much (the friend and the friend's mum), they're just like family to me and it felt so natural and chilled being there, had my own room and en suite and no distractions to sleep, got proper full nights sleep and endless cups of tea and conversation and being taken out and fed and generally just felt like they really wanted me there, even when best friend was off at work and it was just me and her mum. She put a load of my mum's things in her loft too so I don't have to worry about finding somewhere for them in the new apartment but I know they're safe. Really feel so lucky to have them in my life looking out for me, I just felt so down, so so upset I was just crying all day for two days on the trot, which isn't like me at all. I guess I'm just in limbo, my current flat looks like a tip cos we're moving but we're not ready to move into the new one yet so I don't really feel able to rest anywhere or sleep past 8am despite it being my work holidays. I just want to get on with my future. Took nephew to the park for two hours yesterday alone, it was brilliant, we had a fantastic time and it still amazes me that I can just take him off to do stuff like that. Today when he saw me he gave me a big cheesy happy grin and ran towards me for a cuddle, which has never happened before. I glanced at my brother and he was grinning massively too, it was so cute. I just can't stop lisetning to Justice's new album, and have been listening to a bit of Daft Punk recently too. But right now I'm sat listening to Dream Theater.... I just want all the packing and moving and shit done! Still can't have sex, just hurts soooo much. Half wondering if this isn't gonna be it now for the rest of my life, if I'm just not going to be able to have sex. I'm so sick of it. Amy has a chest infection, took her to the vets Sat morning as she was acting mega weird when I got back on Friday night, she was all hyper and shaking and drinking furiously etc. and yeah turns out she's ill, to be fair she's 2.5 years old which is old for a hamster but they're treating her with antibiotics in her water, she has been drinking loads but isn't looking any better yet. Fingers and everything else crossed as I love the crap outta that girl and I'll be devastated if anything happens to her.