I'm so happy, and I don't really get why. Maybe it's the comparison with the devastation I felt a few weeks back. The past week and a bit I've just woken up every day feeling amazing. I feel like my future is going to be brilliant, I'm so happy I'm on this course, I'm so lucky to have the friends I do, I'm so grateful for everything my mum did for me, I don't have anything against ex but we're not in touch anymore and it seems he's struggling with it moreso than I am, which is weird considering he was the architect of this entire situation. I love my new house. I'm having hot erm... relations with a mate, the novelty, the newness of being able to see who I like, fuck who I like (health permitting), push myself outside of my old boundaries is intoxicating. I'm making myself do things I wouldn't have had time for before, go out on a schoolnight, arrange days/nights out outside of the city, meet new people, accept every invitation... I'm just high on life. I don't really know how or why things have clicked so well but I just feel... like whatever I do, I'm gonna make a success of it. Life makes me happy, with all of its complications. Sometimes I wish everything was different, my mum hadn't died or gotten sick, my bro wasn't how he is, my ex hadn't broken my heart, my health was perfect. But 99% of the time I feel lucky that I'm not bored, that I could die tomorrow and know I made the most of the time I've been alive, that I've had more awesome experiences than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams. I'm glad I've known love and loss and devastation and euphoria and passion and stress and I guess my overriding feeling is how nice it is to be in this place. I now know that I can have my heart broken, be reduced to feeling as low as I did, worse than I even knew was possible, and that I can be okay and get past it. I just didn't expect to be this happy so quickly.