1 year

Well today to be honest passed kinda without incident. I was expecting it to be really sad but I haven't even cried yet, I probably got most of it out over the week thinking about the fact that it was an anniversary. It's been a pretty low key day really. I got up, tired, went to the doctors to drop off a sample (I feel like I spend my life pissing in little pots and mailing them off places), then into town to get my nails done, but the queue for the salon was nearly out of the door and I didn't have the time to wait, so I went back home, then picked bf up from work at 1230, came home, drove to my brother's, but my nephew was asleep. Then we went to a flower shop and got a couple of bunches of flowers and an artificial wreath thing and wrote a little card for her, went to the graveyard and laid it all on her grave, in the freezing cold wind with rain pissing it down, it was proper her kind of day today. Then we went back, nephew was awake, then drove into town (where I live) to just hang out for a while. Met up with bf, went to a few shops for a few last min necessary things, got some nice ingredients in for vegan sushi for tea tomorrow, then went for a Costa where nephew really perked up and had an abundance of way too much energy. It's so exhausting keeping tabs on a one year old, they just run everywhere and touch everything and it's a constant battle to stop them from seriously hurting themselves. So anyway we parted ways, then I finally went to get my nails done after all, came home and did a French pedicure myself and have been chilling doing not much ever since. I'm back at work for four hours tomorrow before three days off for Xmas, I really don't want to go but I'm gonna have to. Then I have a Samaritans shift 3-7 then back home for tea before going out for Xmas eve drinks with Dan's brother and sister in law.

 I feel less connected to her than I do most other days. I guess I miss her every day anyway so the fact I was expecting today to be awful just makes it seem nicer in comparison. I'm done talking. It's just another day after all.