Shit day

Crying for hours. Hard to set me off crying but when it actually happens it's almost a relief. Two Sundays in a row I've spent a good couple of hours sobbing. Now I'm shattered and have a headache even four Syndol can't shift... going to bed asap. Nice couple hours with the brother and nephew and pup though. Looking forward to being able to take him out and walk with him when he's had his next few injections. Took flowers to the grave today, let my nephew put them on. Need to start thinking what I wanna put on the headstone for her, brother has a good few ideas and I'm sorta a bit nonplussed except for I'd like a photo of her on it, and our names. I feel like shit. One of my closest friends is going into hospital tomorrow for something really risky and I don't know for certain that I'll see him again, the thought of that is even weirder than the thought of not seeing my mum again, because we've been so close over the past couple of years whereas my mum and I kinda drifted. I'm trying to stay positive but I'm more of a realist that tends towards pessimism I guess. Keeping everything crossed for one of the most awesome people I've ever met to be okay and get through this.